Here is the final chapter on my summer in Korea– the one you’ve all been waiting for: Dating in Korea.
I’m going to talk about the boys and men I went on dates with, as well as give you girls advice and warnings about dating in Korea. In the end, you’ll be able to do it, too!
Pet found me on one of those Naver fashion cafes that I used to post in back in 2011. I just did it to practice my Korean, but I picked up a few guys in the process. Pet was the first one. We talked for months, and when I finally went to Korea in the summer of 2012 he took the subway for three hours just to see me and spend a few days with me. We met before I had a phone, so it was really fun to send a picture of the place where we would meet to him over Kakao, tell him to be there, and wonder if we would actually be able to find each other.
He was right on time, and my first impression of him was:
“Wow, he’s young.”
Pet was a gu boy, which meant he was younger than me by more than just a few years.
So, he didn’t have a lot of money, but he still paid for our first date together, which was dinner at a restaurant in Yeoksam-dong, the place where my hotel was.
(I highly recommend it– Nox Boutique, even though I recently found out it was a love motel!)
I remember sitting down at the table with him and getting ready to order when the ahjumma came over, wiped the table, stared really hard at my face, and then said:
I just smiled and said thank you in Korean.
We ordered something cheap, I don’t even remember anymore, but it was good. Then, we walked around outside and held hands before heading back to my hotel.
We dated over the next couple of days, but his personality was basically like that of a young girl on PMS. So, when he left, I didn’t bother asking him to come back.
I met BGUN at NB. He and his friend rescued me from the second guy I dated in Korea, who I won’t mention because he turned stalker after our first date and started a fight with me and my friends at the club when I told him:
“I’m not your girlfriend.”
Anyway, BGUN was a dancer and an oppa. He trained a few idols who I won’t mention, but he works as a manager now. He was always busy working (like the time he went to China for three weeks), so we didn’t get to date a lot, but he came over often– at FIRST.
Now, I want to warn you girls:
Don’t date Korean guys who only want to go to your house at night (or during the day).
This is a major sign that he is only interested in one thing: SEX. Now, if that’s what you want, go ahead, but you know you deserve better.
I told BGUN that I wasn’t okay dating at my house at night, so I just stopped talking to him after the second or third time we met.
(He wasn’t good in bed, anyway.)
But, he was really sweet, and I think he likes me a lot, because he still talks to me and is waiting for me to go back to Korea, which will be soon!
I met gyopo on Craigslist Seoul.
My first and final advice about Craigslist Seoul is that you should only use it for these three things:
1. To find jobs.
2. To sell clothes.
3. To meet girls.
DON’T MEET ANY GUYS FROM CRAIGSLIST SEOUL. THEY ARE ALL WEIRD. ALL OF THEM!
Although gyopo wasn’t as bad as the other two guys I met on Craigslist when I first got to Seoul and only knew a few people, he still wasn’t that great either. He was good-looking in this greasy, Italian way even though he was definitely Korean.
On our first date we went to the downtown area in my neighborhood, Sin-nonhyun. First, we went to Ho bar and had drinks and then a restaurant and had hoi (raw, fresh seafood). Afterwards, we went to NB where a white guy grabbed him and kissed him. This led him to kiss me in an attempt to prove his manhood (or something), and things went… on… from there.
He was nice, so for our second date we went to a suljib (pub) in Hongdae and had fruit soju (Korean liquor) and nachos.
For our third (and last) date, he planned things, but didn’t execute them– at least not well. So, instead of taking a boat out on the Han river for a tour we just got chimaek (chicken and beer) on the river. I LOVED this. Afterwards, we went to Hongdae to club. Instead of dancing with me, though, he became really awkward and shy, so I told him:
We sat and listened to live music outside, and he began to whine.
So, on the way home I told him to go home, even though he couldn’t and would have to sleep somewhere outside!
My main problem with gyopo was that he was too obsessed with my looks and too insecure about his own. He was younger, too, so maybe that’s why… And, most of his ex’s were white, not black or Korean– which made for an interesting and forgettable time in bed…
D.H. is the second guy who talked to me after seeing one of my posts in a fashion cafe on Naver.
(Thank you Naver.)
He was oppa and Super Korean, but by far the best date that I had and the best person that I met in Seoul. We got over the language barrier really quickly, but he didn’t speak any English. Thankfully, by then my Korean was really good, although I always had a headache after one of our dates…
For our first date we ate and drank together in my neighborhood. We talked ALL night, and he walked me home in the morning.
Girls, another warning:
When Koreans ask to go into your house for “water” or “tea,” don’t let them, because they won’t leave.
By the time I met D.H., I already knew this, so I sent him home with a hug. This is VERY important. Showing a Korean guy that you are not easy will almost 99.9% guarantee that he will either become your friend, lover, or boyfriend. Sleeping with a Korean guy the first time you meet him is almost a 99.9% guarantee that he will never talk to you again– unless he wants sex.
(Of course, there’s that .1%, but don’t count on being one of the lucky ones.)
We met again a few days later for our second (and last date), because I was leaving in a few days! We went to Itaewon for pancakes and breakfast food. I love that he also wanted wine even though it was brunch time! Then, we walked around Itaewon together. He took me to a pool hall and taught me how to play. I ended up beating him later. He took it well. He was always funny and cool. Later, we went to Apgujeong for a movie, but all the tickets were sold out so we just got ice cream at Baskin Robbins instead.
(He really liked all the food I was introducing him, too, which made me happy.)
Then, we walked around at the Galleria before saying good-bye– he even waited until I met up with my friend, who I went clubbing with later that night.
Before we reach “The End,” here are some final words:
Dating in Korea may seem hard at first, but the more confident you are– the more attractive you will be. You don’t have to be stick thin or have straight, relaxed hair. Korean men love curves and natural hair, too! So, go out on your own looking amazing, and don’t be afraid to make eye-contact at, smile, and even talk to Korean guys– because they WILL approach you.
Not feeling beautiful enough yet? Then, stay tuned for the “Black Girl in Korea” Beauty Tutorial!
But, there will be advice and tips for everyone, like my favorite: How to go from an A cup to a C cup and a B cup to a D cup without surgery or stuffing!